February 28, 2019





Not too long ago that was to be my life, or so I thought.

But the things I desire most cannot be bought.

So before I mess up everything and get caught.

I have to remind myself that I still have a shot.


I was so broken, in the pits of despair.

I would look up to the stars and just stare.

I had no clue if this time would be different.

Please bear with me, I need y'all to listen.


I'm not a perfect person and I don't have answers.

But the disease is killing me as if it was cancer.

I feel trapped in a cage, dying to break free.

Free from what? That what is a who! And that who is me.


I have no desire to use drugs today.

But there's always tomorrow, and tomorrow I just may.


I'm an addict when I say I am.

However, I can recover if I reach for a hand.

Some say never alone, never again.

But when will something change within?


Where do I run to get away from the person I hate the most?

You see, her and I are too close. She lives inside me.

Trying to cover the ones that bleed.

And I don't know her name, but she drives me insane!


Some days, I pray I don't wake up.

On those days, my mind is closed shut.

Then it says I should see the world through a new set of eyes,

Because on this last relapse there were new kinds of highs.


In the end I'm stuck with the whys of my choices.

Then I realized we as addicts have voices. 



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