Not too long ago that was to be my life, or so I thought.
But the things I desire most cannot be bought.
So before I mess up everything and get caught.
I have to remind myself that I still have a shot.
I was so broken, in the pits of despair.
I would look up to the stars and just stare.
I had no clue if this time would be different.
Please bear with me, I need y'all to listen.
I'm not a perfect person and I don't have answers.
But the disease is killing me as if it was cancer.
I feel trapped in a cage, dying to break free.
Free from what? That what is a who! And that who is me.
I have no desire to use drugs today.
But there's always tomorrow, and tomorrow I just may.
I'm an addict when I say I am.
However, I can recover if I reach for a hand.
Some say never alone, never again.
But when will something change within?
Where do I run to get away from the person I hate the most?
You see, her and I are too close. She lives inside me.
Trying to cover the ones that bleed.
And I don't know her name, but she drives me insane!
Some days, I pray I don't wake up.
On those days, my mind is closed shut.
Then it says I should see the world through a new set of eyes,
Because on this last relapse there were new kinds of highs.
In the end I'm stuck with the whys of my choices.
Then I realized we as addicts have voices.
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