Withholding Forgiveness

This is a very serious topic that has destroyed millions of lives. I know we joke often here but I’ve never been more serious in my life then here. Please consider this and how it pertains to your life. Maybe you have been withholding, or maybe someone has denied you of forgiveness. No matter which , this Is for you.

I hate bitterness. Boy do I hate it. Its like fire coming up burning through your soul. So many years ago I realized what God says about it. He says bitterness comes from not forgiving others who have harmed you. As a matter of fact one man put it like this “

“Withholding forgiveness from others is like drinking a bottle of poison and thinking someone else will get sick.”

It’s all true people. Like or not , we suffer not them. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Those are two different things. Be very aware though that the best thing you can do for your own health is to forgive anyone and everyone who ever harmed you. You don’t have to call them. You can do it all at once verbally before God from your heart. Feel the release.

I have made mistakes. For some reason my sins and errors have always been outward ones. Things that everyone could see. Some of who knew we were both guilty of sin but mine was more easily detected , had mercy . You continued to encourage me into the better plan God had for me. You are the reason I’m writing today and did not give up on life 20 years ago. You never have given up so I could not . You are the reason I could make one more day of the life I had, unlike my brother, who killed himself. You all have been my anchors.

To those who chose to exploit my every mistake and maximize each thing I did to make sure all the right people could get the gossip, I forgive you. To those who have accused me, abused me or did anything to bring me harm, and you know who you are , family and friends alike I totally hold nothing against you and have no anger.

Most of you had never experienced the pain and suffering and fear in your whole life that I did before I was a teenager. You knew that. You knew of my circumstances, yet you chose to use them against me. That is done. I forgive.

However , as things got better, and continue to do so, I must inform you that my band wagon is full. It has no room in case I hit a home run or become very successful. My band wagon is full of all those that rolled their pants up time and time again to step in the dirty mud I was in to lift me out and wipe me off. All the while taking no concern for their needs.

Its full of those who called at midnight almost knowing my thoughts to remind me that all that matters In this life is what God says about me in His Word. Man’s words are futile you said. But God “don”t make no junk” and he sure didn’t save my life over and over for nothing . He had a purpose. He judges the heart and He knew mine. He knew of my intentions and had mercy on me because of that. Yet my own friends, family even a spouse could not find it in their heart to forgive me. Yeah buddy is it full of those guys.

Its full of those who came to rehab or court with me to tell the judge of my heart and my efforts to make things better. Its overflowing with those who repeatedly believed in me regardless of what they saw , no matter how many times I fell they kept saying that’s just one fall closer to you standing tall. Its full of the people who were Godly enough to remember we are all in need of a savior. They even reminded me that they had struggles too and not to keep beating myself up .

Man is it full, my band wagon is. I wish I could tell you that I had room, but due to the undying love from a good bunch of people, there is not even standing room. I hope you are thankful each day that you never had to walk through the horrors of addiction by 15, or major depression, abuse, neglect and suicide all in my home. I hope you thank the Lord that the worse thing you have had to deal with is which properties to sell when the market went bad.

You know what?

When that same economy got my family then me medically with a bone disease out of nowhere all at once, you were nowhere. I made it clear almost begged for help to feed my babies while I endured 7 hip surgeries. Nobody home now. I always thought that was so odd since you all were the one’s bragging about blowing 25k on a week vacation, or a 75k Porsche to add to your garage. Then I came asking for a loan of a quarter of your vacation and you cannot help, Wow. So be thankful you have never faced stress, or poverty, addiction and depression all the while everyone mocking you because you cannot provide. I would never wish it on any of you. I really would not.

I just want you to understand why on the day, when the day comes-and it will, I want you to know why my shoulder is not a welcome place for you to put your arm around, my neck wont need hugging then, and my back sure wont need any patting.. You see I got all these others..did I mention, the others that never left. Their arms are so far wrapped around me that I cannot spare even a hand, just like you could not spare a hand. So I love you family who mocked, friends who judged and anyone else. I am on my way now and want you to know I am doing better now. Heck I bet most of you would go out in public with me now, without fear of your reputation. Imagine that. Yeah, so I am getting stronger every day I want you to know. I have plenty of friends and all the right people with me. I always did. So I wish the best for you but I do ask one favor.

Be careful not to judge someone , ever. But be especially careful not to judge others when you have no idea of what they have been through and may be still going through. Just be gentle and try to avoid condemnation. I lost my brother to a self-inflicted gunshot wound because he could just not take another day. You don’t to be the person that causes someone to go ahead and load that pistol. Trust me, you would never forget it. Also trust me, because there was a time, when…well I will just say there was a time. One statement out of your mouth can be the final straw that breaks someone. Be a helping hand up not a cursing word down.

I truly believe that thousands of people all over the world need to hear this message. Hundreds of thousands. Share it, tell someone about it or just forgive someone today, out of your heart. God knows when its real.

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