The walls are caving in and you have no where to turn. Your only option is treatment. "I don't want to go", "I'm not like those people" I can hear your thoughts as if they were my own. Maybe the courts threw in because you didn't want jail time, maybe DCF said "we will take your child if you do not seek treatment", maybe emotionally or financially you were just broken, but whatever the reason the time has come, and you are going to treatment. If your like most people you are scared, ashamed, and relieved all at once. You are scared because you feel alone and have no idea what to expect, ashamed because now you are officially "labeled", and relieved that this life of sickness, darkness, and running may just finally be over.
Going to treatment is a life changing decision. Life changing for the better, but who are we kidding, change is always scary. It is a dive into the unknown, the unthinkable, but you''ll already know what to expect so it won't be as intimidating. Upon entering treatment your cell phone, keys, and credit card will be placed in a bin for safe keeping. The clothes and belongings that you are allowed to keep will be left behind to search for anything that might have "accidentally" made it's way in. Feelings of anxiety, depression, and confusion are normal, and everyone there is feeling the same way. Those feelings will soon be replaced, and will be forever changing. The staff will not judge you, and most likely has walked in our shoes.
After, the check-in process there is an intake process. Expect to tell your "drug-log" about ten times. Arriving at the residence in my opinion is the scariest. "Who are these people, Will we get along"? The clients at the residence will welcome you, and show compassion for you, because you are not capable of doing it yourself. Unfortunately, people will relapse, but you do not have to be one of them.Drama will take place, and it won't be easy. Therapy will be tough and you will definitely feel feelings about things you thought were "so far in the past". Friendships that last for life will be made, you will learn to love yourself, and more importantly TRUST yourself again. Girls who remind you of yourself when you first came in will look to you for support, yes, people will depend on you again. The growth, and the maturity that comes from such a process is amazing.
Treatment is not for fun, it is rehabilitation and only for those who want it not those who "need" it..Not everyone is fortunate enough to go, so please don't waste it. If you want it, there is fun to be had. The treatment center will arrange activities so that there is proof that fun in recovery does exist. Treatment introduces you to meetings, sponsors, and sober supports, that you will need when discharged. None of us chose this life style, but there is only two ways out, recovery or death. When those doors open and it's time to walk through those doors, be proud that you made the right choice, feel comfortable that you know what to expect, and be thankful that as long as you take suggestions..... the nightmare is over.