Even after working my steps, and making my amends, I still find myself in a constant battle internally. Character defects I thought were gone, resurface at the most unwanted moments .Anger is the defect I fall back on most often. I'm only left feeling angry at myself. Feeling insecure with the choice I just made, jealous that others can better control their emotions, and just plan inadequate. My day is left thinking what I could have done differently. I go to a meeting, talk to my sponsor and supports, and take advice from those with more knowedge than myself, I am NOT perfect nor do I aim to be. Recovery is a growth process and as long as we are clean and sober that should be enough to love ourselves again slowy, feel secure and adequate in the life choices and accomplishments we are enduring and triumphing over. Just know, a day at a time, things will get better. They have already.